Press to Invite

{Pictured above is where I learned to surf, in our beautiful Kailua sea}

My hope is that one reads this tiny-topics-of-discussion blog with an open lens, & perhaps feels a yank on their soul strings.

In the pressing is the invitation.

Pure-grade olive oil is the product of multiple pressings, with continued weighted force. Multiple & continued, being the key words here, because without that reoccurring, persistent pressing, oil would not be. Changing perspective, have you ever felt like you've been given reoccurring non-coincidental compelling signs to do something that's been on your mind that you just weren't sure about, & used those pressings as an invitation to just do the dang thing? Yeah, me too. Because most times (not all, of course), without that pressing, the invitation to do said thing / to change said thing seems nonexistent or unobtainable.

We over-examine.

The pressing may be loud & clear, ready to rumble, but that one part of the brain steps on some toes to jump to the front of the line to re-evaluate again, & again, & again, until we simply decline the invitation, yet another time. One doesn't have to be a fearless, cut-throat determined bada$$ to follow one's intuition. Really, ya just need a Mrs. Dash of faith. For a small scale example, I've been wanting to learn to surf, so a few months ago, Clay & I went out on the water in hopes of completing a successful session taught by Clay himself, only to learn his teaching technique does not vibe with my learning style at all. I threw in the towel after only one trial & error for three reasons: 1) Paddling while laying on my stomach is extremely tiring. 2) Learning something new that is generally challenging to the typical population is frustrating. 3) I don't love the open ocean enough to call myself a fish.

I declined my want to go & learn for months after that initial try, even though I knew this could be an exciting hobby. But not last weekend. I accepted that invite, left my over-examination in the ocean for the sharks to bite at, Clay catered to my learning style, & within 30 minutes, I caught & rode out my first bangin' wave. I even caught & rode the "party wave" with Clay & our friends. It took me months to decide to stop focusing on what I lack (arm strength, fast learning, love of open water), & to concentrate on what I pack (arms, who cares the size, willingness & want to learn, 4-year certified lifeguard skills). And with that, I can now call myself a (most definitely less than mediocre) surfer chick.

We think we are too old to change.

It can be difficult to move on & change from said thing (home, career, hobby, relationship) because of what we know we are leaving behind. We tend to stay somewhere, whether that be a physical home, a geographical location, a career, etc., because of security, convenience, comfort, management material, potential promotion, family, tradition, outward approval, time invested, our age... - that list can go as long as the Nile River if we let it. One will refuse change based on these above aspects, even if that something new will contribute to growing one's soul. Mark 8:36 says for what good does it profit someone to gain the whole world, but lose their soul? We each only get so many years here, & those number of days are chosen for us. We all don't get to live to see retirement. We all don't get to make it to our 50th surprise anniversary party. How many years have you spent on something you don't love? Often times we rug shove the pressing, in order to drown out the invitation, because we already deem the sunk cost to be too great.

Not everyone's Sunk Cost Theory is the same.

There is the Sunk Cost theory, & the outcome differs, depending on who is doing the analyzing of said situation. Take Clay & I, for example. Our Sunk Cost differs; his "sunk" appears deeper than what mine would be, & therefore to him, it is worth staying invested in said topic/excursion/situation more so than what I would. To visualize this, we were at Navy Federal & had to wait to cash a check, but had to be seen by a specific employee. The wait time was unknown, & there were 6 people ahead of us. We waited approximately 15 minutes before the number dropped to 5 people ahead. 30 minutes have passed, 3 people still ahead. It was already noon, & I was not about this life on a Saturday. I said, "Let's just leave & come back another day when they first open, knowing there's no one in line. The check doesn't even expire until August." I wasn't interested in how much time I had already lost waiting there; I was interested in not losing any more of my Saturday. Clay, on the other hand, said, "we've already wasted 30 minutes waiting; we are too deep into it now, & it wouldn't be worth it to leave." So, we stayed, because someone obviously had to give. Him & I both had the same situation at our fingertips to analyze, but had two different Sunk Cost meters gaging what it was worth. Sunk Cost theory can be heavily dependent on personality, too (like everything in this lifetime is). Sunk Cost is "to each their own" decision when evaluating their want/need for change (unless you're the wife at a Navy Federal on a Saturday). But my point being, do not disregard potential for change before practicing the Sunk Cost Theory.

Let go of "their" idea of you.

Too many times we allow change or lack thereof to be dictated by "their" opinions. "They" ("they," being all of the outsiders) try to deem what is a good fit for you based on your education, experience, looks, health, wealth, etc. Say you have a specific 2 or 4-year college degree, but don't want to use it in its standard form at the moment, or maybe ever, because you have found something that better feeds your soul. Well, be prepared, because those outsiders sure know how to project a loud & proud opinion of what you should be doing with that degree of yours that you paid for. Say you're a stay-at-home mom by choice, but get no street credit for such task. Say you're 35 years old & genuinely love your waitress job, but get that shade thrown from "them" saying you should be the manager by now. If you haven't been told before, let me tell you to let it all go. May you find it within you to let go of all the things you thought you would or should be. Joy is an inside job. Don't let those outsider ideas make their way inside. In the pressing is the invitation, but not in "their" pressing. Let your own pressing be your own invitation to your own life.

Today's reminder: Life will go by fast. Happiness of the world is based on circumstances. Joy of the soul is a whole different body of water. We don't really need more sleep / more time / more money / more... - our souls need to wake up & live. Press that invitation button.