Bags Are Packed at the Front Door

52 days, with just these 2 bags.

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I believe there are moments in life where you "have to do what you have to do," and then there are moments in life when you can throw it all out, to do what you want to do. It brings together the necessary (have to) with the desirable (want to), to create a lifestyle that is better, in "to each his own" ways.

I haven't had to do what I have been doing, that was a choice. A not-so-easy one, but one nonetheless. I decided on fifty-two days of that choice. And, believe it or not, I am thankful for that choice. If you read my previous blog, Sorry Natalie, There Is No Solution, you will recall I was (eventually) moving toward the, "...then I am strong." Well, I found some of my strength in meeting

a remarkable fellow Marine Corps wife here who has become such a valued friend. Although she saw me in the same black yoga pants & grey sweatshirt, rotating out with dark purple leggings & a black long sleeve (those two bags aren't The Red Santa Toy Bag), she was my saving grace. She & her 8 month old baby happily drove me to my weekly necessary errands. I never thought I would know the relieving feeling of "just getting out" to hit up the closest grocery store...but here I was, getting legitimately excited to go & buy those blueberries. She also kept me sane by inviting me to the gym on base when she and her baby would attend the mommy/child group exercise class 3x a week (I just did my own workout in the main gym because...no baby). Her friendship is precisely what I needed to help me fully get to "...then I am strong."

God is funny, because He specifically knew I needed to meet her here in VA Beach for her sake too. She just found out her family's next move after VA Beach is to... Hawaii! She doesn't know anyone who lives out there, & didn't think she would meet anyone beforehand (which can make the whole culture shock/time zone/distance from mainland a harder transition for some), but God had her covered too, with His timing schedule. Gosh God, yes, I see that you are always good. Even when my almost entire month of January teary eyes were clouding that sight.

And so, my next choice: change.

It seems as if solo flying has become a hobby of mine; I have a few stops & states ahead! I am not disclosing where I am headed (at first), due to multiple reasons that I will not explain publicly, but when the time is appropriate, you'll know (I will update after-the-fact of said events/happenings). You will also no longer see / read information regarding Clay & his military career on here (or anywhere); this is specifically for his, my, & the military's security, as we are at the point in his line of work that can no longer be discussed. I will tailor my writing accordingly to this change, & although it'll feel unusual to be so reserved, since it is a significant portion of our lives, it is crucial (It is OK that individuals know we still live in Hawaii, that is obviously no secret, & doesn't have to be).

Regarding my upcoming choice of "change": I have always wanted the life I live to be bursting with specific purpose. Everyone's "purpose" looks different, according to their individuality. That which I love, & that which I am good at, is called my passion. That which I love, & that which the world needs, is called my mission. Usually, one's passion & one's mission coincide, because they both are based off of what one loves. My passion & mission are about to run head-first into each other, & fulfill (one of) my life purpose, as I have been accepted into assisting the Hawaii Foster Care program! Clay & I have been thinking, talking, & praying about this for 6 months now. We met a while back with the director, & while we do not have intentions to adopt, my desire is to love & show God's love to these babes who (not by choice) start their lives out on a different scale than most.

I know God's call on my life is in this department. Why? 1) My first bible verse I memorized & actually remembered for years afterward, was this (not once thinking about the meaning): Acts 1:8 - But you shall receive power after the Holy Ghost has come upon you, & you shall be witnesses to me, in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, & to the uttermost parts of the earth. I have told Clay for years, & much more frequently in this past year, "I have that desire to go to other countries to witness & love on all the babes." 2) I went to Guatemala when I was 18 years old on a mission's trip, & when I interacted / played with / prayed with the children of various ages there, my "desire" solidified into a real experience, & I have never been the same. 3) God has opened this door for me now, after 6 months of active prayer. And in whatever capacity the program may bring, I am thankful for my answered prayer from Him with a "yes." I believe this program in Hawaii is only a glimpse of what God has called me to do with my life. Clay has heard this out of my mouth at least 63 times to date: I have a strong sense (& personal longing) that God will send us somewhere overseas where we can actively support children that need the love of God in physical form (us). Yes, as Hawaii is technically "overseas" from the US mainland, that above statement is meant for outside of the 50 United States. This is a big aspiration, but I will let that up to God & His "yes" or "no."

So, as all my bags are packed at the front of my door, which took me approximately 54 seconds, I am very eager for what is comin'. Psalm 96:3 says to declare God's glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all people. ...children included. I'm coming for ya babes, with my arms wide open for all those cuddles, & heart more than exposed to let you feel my love.

I want my lifestyle to be a devoted one for the sake of God's world. I decide what kind of lifestyle I want. And then, say no to everything that isn't that.