Caution: Detour Ahead

{A recent December 2018 photo}

Oh, how it's almost Kalikimaka (Christmas in Hawaiian)! As per my last post, our indoor palm tree was to be our Christmas tree this year, but we ended up not even decorating that; we chose to (sounds heartless when I say it, but I assure you, we are still loving people) not celebrate with any ounce of holly jolly festive decor this time around. Honestly, I just didn't want to dig through the mounds of our unpacked boxes in the back of our guest room to locate those tangled string lights. That saying, "when men can't find the butter, even when it's in the fridge," swops in our household. I am the blind seeker, & if you knew that about me, you would one-hundred percent understand my unwant to even think about touching the boxes.

It's starting to get colder here in the mornings and evenings. Ok, mid/low 70's in the AM and PM, but when your body is used to mid/upper 80's, day in and day out, & no in-home air conditioning, that minuscule-seeming drop in temperature makes more of an impact on one's bloodstream than ya think. I start & end my days with sweatshirts & blankets - call me crazy, but I already know.

And now for a bit of a life detour...

Clay & I have 1 week left here on the island until we are being temporarily sent to ...

Virginia Beach, VA.

Clay has to complete a 3.5 month specific ground intelligence course that is only offered on the east coast. This is not a PCS, meaning, we are not moving out of our home here in Kailua, then back out here again in April. Our home & belongings will stay right where they are, while we pick just ourselves up, & find temporary lodging in Virginia. Technically, the wife isn't encouraged to attend, & is not included in any type of pay/plane ticket arrangement/lodging, etc that is provided for the active duty member (Clay). However, we have decided that spending an unnecessary 3.5 months apart isn't on our bucket list. Considering Clay will have private lodging, meaning he won't be sharing his living space with anyone else, we are going to see where this chaotic wind takes us (mainly me), & the rest can be "to be determined."

We will be flying back on different flights, & coming into different states because the military assigns Clay to fly specifically into Virginia Beach, which would cost me $1,300 to do (um no thanks, I can fly solo somewhere else. I mean by now, I've done 742 things in life solo, & 3 of those "things" have been plane flights, so I'm good.

Some have said I am craycray for choosing to leave Hawaii & embrace the east coast's dead of winter. Well - LOL - they aren't wrong. I absolutely love our home here; I thrive in the warmth & sunshine, the coast & blue waters, the hikes & excessive greenery, & all the carefree vibes. I truly long for all of the above, & if you were to ask me if this temporary move is a sacrifice, I would say without a doubt, yes. Wait, what? How can I label "getting to be with my husband" a sacrifice, you ask? Didn't I just say we decided that spending an unnecessary 3.5 months apart isn't on our bucket list? Yes. But, I have lived the Marine Corps Ground Intelligence Officer's wife life somehow long enough to know exactly what I am about to experience, yet still have a plethora of room for no idea what I will endure. This upcoming school already gives me flashbacks of what we went through as a married couple during his Infantry Officer Course in Quantico. While this upcoming school is a 180-degree different structure, his same early mornings & long nights will be naturally devoted elsewhere, as they should & have to be. I will always be OK knowing that the military sometimes has to come first before our marriage. Do not read that sentence wrong, and if you did, read this next sentence. The men & women in the military absolutely need to have every single one of their ducks in a pin-straight row when it comes to their knowledge, experience, information retention, duties, etc, because when they fail at their job, or have "lazy days at work," think about the scope of their work & who it affects - yes, that would be you, me, & every other American going about our daily lives of freedom. Knowing that, should give enough contentment to military wives for our sad but true, frequent temporary "typical" marriage inconveniences.

So, yes, going back is a sacrifice for me, as I have had, & still am having a difficult time transitioning my brain. Anika (my soul sister Quantico, VA Marine Corps wife) & I say this to each other when one of us is hard-core military adjustment, yet-again struggling: "If you spend all your time worrying about it before, it's like putting yourself through it twice." Oh girl, ya hit me in all the feels with that this time, because we know that is tried & true for the both of us. You would think after years of being told "just stop planning your life - like, absolutely everything about it," that it would sink in eventually, right? HA. I may be a forever work-in-progress with that one, folks.

When I start to find myself complaining or feeling sadly overwhelmed, I have been saying out-loud to Clay (on multiple occasions), "OK I am going to tell you 3 positive aspects I am thankful for about this right now." Some nights I can pump those 3 out just fine, some nights I struggle to find those 3, & some nights when I open my mouth, nothing will come out. Oh but I know God has much for me to learn over there, as He always does for me. I am thankful for 1) the opportunity to sleep next to my husband more nights than not by going there, 2) the opportunity to really appreciate the grace God has given us as a couple, & 3) the opportunity to know that the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true not just for people, but for places. My heart will most definitely grow fonder for our lovely, blessed home-life here in Hawaii, as I have never loved a place more than here (yet).

& if I feel the strong pull to come home to HI early, I am just an 11 hour plane flight away. But for now, see you soon, winter!

{Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you all, from Clay & Natalie] XO