Exit 21

Exit 21: Loyalsock Ave

Montoursville, Pennsylvania

For the first time in years, we three sisters & my dad all spent an evening in the same place together. It truly was God who allocated the night to be filled with joy, laughter, and reminiscing. Never have we done this together; this was not familiar or customary in any sort.

We all sat in the same room together listening to our dad use the phrase, "do you remember when..." on repeat. Every story was from when we girls were young & in elementary/early middle school. He usually finds our childhood accomplishments & shares them with his friends or whoever he runs into, but this night, it was our turn to listen. We all watched our dad's eyes light up with his fondest recollections of us & listened to his contagious laugh spread through the room. I have never heard him laugh so hearty & authentic; I have never heard myself & family laugh with him so hearty & authentic.

Along with him sharing with (almost) everyone our childhood (mostly sports) stories, he is also known for taking out his wallet & showing them "a picture of my three girls." So my sisters & I got him a new wallet this year & filled it with recent photos of us. We sat down together and watched him flip through, & when he got to our individual wedding dress pictures, he put his hand on his chest & welled up with such pride. In that moment, I realized that no amount of money or extraordinary gift could ever satisfy him the way a simple picture of his three girls does.

I never appreciated our shared minor childhood memories until this night. That is because I had fixed classifications on how to love. I only wanted to receive love in the ways that I projected it to be. But God helped me find the place where I could meet someone with love beyond thought, beyond the mind, where only the deepest of love resides. And for him, it is in our very select memories.

For the first time, I could let myself receive love, not in the way that I had always expected it, but in the way that he could give it. It doesn't matter how he can or cannot love me; what matters is how I choose to receive what he has to give. The difference is in me.

Matthew 6:22 says that the eye is the lamp of the body. If my eyes are clear, my whole body can be filled with light. When I let my eyes find & see the good, my mind & actions can surely find it too. Watching & listening to my dad with clear eyes changed my heart. I was able to see his raw love & accept it for what it is, not what it is not.

To Dad: Even if you never read this, thank you for remembering & loving Courtney, Ashley, & me the way you do. We all love you.

To God: Thank you for remembering & loving me the way you do. Your love is so pure.

Life is just too short. I want to spend it finding love everywhere. I want to spend it finding the good in every little thing. I want to spend it always finding joy. I want to spend it finding all of what this life has for me to find.